LATELY, I’ve been having some sort of burn out. A tiredness I cannot explain. It comes with lots of sleep and introspection. Introspection comes with self-doubt. and self-doubt leads to an existential crisis which if you’ve suffered any mental health issue you’d know is a direct path to hell. I am in no way trying to get back to where I was because I feel like I have been alive since February of this year.

Oh, I didn’t say!

Or maybe I did but forgot. Anyways I’ll recap just so we are on the same page.

I did mention that last year was a bad year for me and that I spent my January trying to figure out things like where I’d live, what I’d do, and how I’d take care of my mental health. Part of my coping skills were this blog, going to the gym, and a job I landed. However, it didn’t take away all the issues I was facing in my life. I am still going through it albeit with better coping skills.

Now you are all caught up!

I have been having a hard time trying to keep up with everything in my life. Sometimes I fault mysef for either being over-ambitious or non-ambitious at all. For me, it’s always either all working in harmony or all scrambled. There is no in-between and that’s probably why I find it hard to keep my balance when one thing is particularly failing.

I want it to blame it on social media or my mental health but I sometimes feel like it’s just happening to everyone and I am personally not handling it well. Maybe natural selection will come for me. Ha-ha! Bad joke.

I want to be better with handling my issues and I understand that I will not achieve it all at once. I hope I will get more persistent with my activities or whatever.

All I am complaining about and having an extreme situation about is the fact that I took a much needed trip for a month and missed my routines and now I have no idea how I’ll go back to my sleep routine, my workout routine, and my book reading routine. I have messed it up and now I’m back to square one trying to figure out how to get my shit together.

Anyways, how are y’all doing?

p.s: I am not yet fully committed. DO NOT get attached. Ha-ha!

Published by La Protagoniste

I hope to find my healing by writing. one story at a time!

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